Letting yourself down is so painful.

Hello Gorgeous Reader…welcome to 3 Cool Things Friday.

Even though it is “old school” I really like to brain dump stuff on paper!

So, you set a goal, and didn’t acheive it…..uggggg!!

Make the MISSION HUGE! but start setting realistic goals.

Another Friday night rolls by and those damn goals of not eating junk, spending more time with the kids, making those cold calls, working out, calling the mother, helping at church, building your website, signing new clients….whatever those goals are….went right out the damn window!

And then the butt kicking, inner critic starts to chime in….”you never follow through”, “why bother even saying you are going to xyz”…and on and on until, hey, screw it, grab a bag of cookies and veg in front of the tube while the kids are busy on their own mind numbing devices.

What gives with this? Why set goals only to continue the cycle of letting yourself down?

It’s time to set goals that are realistic…yeah, yeah, yeah, I know–“they” say have goals so big you’ll puke.

But haven’t you noticed when you do that, for many women, it completely shuts us down. It becomes one more thing we may fail at. One more thing we could get judged about…

and really, when the hell are we gonna fit it in, for chrissakes???

Make your MISSION HUGE..and then start with those itty, bitty, goals and BUILD FROM THERE!

Once you start to make a practice of doing what you say you are going to do, guess what happens??

You build confidence!

You build self-trust!

You build momentum!

You build excitement!

These are the things that create consistency.

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Letting yourself down is so painful.

#2 Build in a little ME TIME!

When Mary, when can I have a little ME TIME.

Well, girl it’s time to start!

Here I am eating a coconut macaroon after having tea with a good friend! Am I letting myself down?

No….my realistic goal is to have the occasional yummy! It’s Friday…literally as I type this! and Friday’s are my ME TIME. I have talked about this before about pampering…and today I got a facial, had tea, eat a macaroon…and now, here I am talking to you!

My realistic goal is to build into my calendar these snippets of time.

John used to say to me…”Mary, when are going to go away and have a little time to yourself??” Well, first off, as a mama, I don’t know about you, but I prefer my alone time, in my own house! In other words, how many times do you get your house all to yourself?? yeah, no one but YOU to take care of. So, I don’t usually go away unless it is for work, speaking gigs. THEN I DO build on to the front or back of that time a day or so away.

It’s a realistic goal, because I am already away! Then it doesn’t feel like a big deal.

If I don’t have ME TIME, I get bitchy. It’s always a sign! In fact, as a mama, wife, biz owner and all the other hats I wear, and you do, too….it’s no wonder women get approximately 12 hours less of ME TIME a week!!

ACTION STEP: Set realistic goals for some ME TIME!

Start small. Even it’s an hour a week! (hey, share with me what you would do!)

#3 Recognize if your big goals are yours or someone else’s.

It’s hard to say NO.

Here’s how you do it.

“Mary, would you please bake 213 gluten free, soy free, allergen free cupcakes with butter cream icing and don’t use any butter for the fundraiser?”

“Well, thank you Sally Sue for thinking of me. As much fun as that sounds, I have so much on my plate right now I can’t fit it in. Please consider me another time.”

OR

“Well, thank you Sally Sue for thinking of me. Even though I don’t have it in my schedule to do this, I am happy to donate $25 bucks for the supplies.”

See, you can be gracious and say NO!

Because you know when you say a yes that is supposed to be a no, or a no that is supposed to be a yes…you get resentful! You regret it…and it all goes down hill from there!

ACTION STEP: Keep a record of how you are feeling when you say yes to someone else’s agenda.

You can set a realistic goal of always saying…NO, maybe during the school year.

Figure out whose story you are living about setting those boundaries. 

Document how you let yourself down. How the goal was unrealistic. Give yourself a little love. Learn. Listen. Build self-trust.

Move on.

You got this!

#bebolditstime

Here’s you and your #regretprooflife

Mary

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